Throwback Thursday – Did I Mention that I Have Twins?

My rant below was originally posted on Facebook on June 9, 2016. As it so accurately sums up a day in the life of raising twins, I wanted it to be published on Tablefor5 so that it can help me document this time in my life. Please enjoy again.  

To the sleek, young, real estate broker who shared an elevator down to “level C” amenities with me this morning, I’d like to apologize. You see, before I glanced down in shame, I caught the look of horror as the elevator door slid open. I knew you were hoping to show your successful, rich, single client a much more glamorous type that could be his potential neighbor. I was almost going to hop off the elevator and let you all ride in without the discomfort. But then, I realized if only I could take a minute of your time and explain the “situation”.

You see, today was supposed to be my “catch up day”. It’s been a long week, actually a long month, but, I’ll get right to the point about my look this morning. My son wound up missing a few days of school, sick this week. We thought he was on the mend, after a trip to the doctor he mentioned he “felt better” and wanted to eat that second helping last night. Well, just as I was getting ready for bed after an already long day, the forces of nature weren’t having it. The poor guy got sick all over his bed, rug and bathroom. After what proved to be a long and tedious clean up, we managed to finally get to bed for a few short hours.

IMG_4107Did I mention that I also have 17 month old twins? Those little cuties decided to get up at 5:15 this morning! With my husband out the door early for a day trip, I was left to fend the 3 of them off myself. Well my girls can smell weakness a mile away. It didn’t take long before Maxine somehow managed to grab a pencil that her brother left lying around and write all over my walls and door. Literally almost at the very same time (they say identical have this weird connection), Laurel went into her dresser and took one of my favorite sweaters she owns (cute little bulldog on the front) and put it in the toilet bowl along with all the other contents of the bathroom garbage pail. Normally all of our bathroom doors are locked, but since Luca was under the weather, it must have slipped his mind.

I figured that was enough for one morning, but boy was I wrong. When I slipped quietly into my bedroom to get dressed (thank god I did this), I locked the door behind me to protect our printer, lamps and picture frames from attack. Well, the girls must have smelled blood because they immediately went into our hallway closet and somehow dragged out Luca’s heavy razor scooter. As I heard something gouging our floors and walls (they don’t call it a razor for nothing), I panicked thinking they were getting hurt. In my panic, I somehow shut the Master bedroom door before unlocking it ,and, due to the fact that the doorknob is broken and doesn’t have the “unlock hinge”, proceeded to lock myself out of my bedroom.

So, when I saw you earlier, I really didn’t have the chance to “get ready”, or even check myself in the mirror before heading downstairs in pursuit of a maintenance guy to help unlock the door. BOY, when I finally saw what you saw, I really understood that I may have screwed up your commission this morning. I just had to reach out, and, at the very least, explain myself.

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Slip Sliding Away This Past Mother’s Day

Oh, Mother’s Day;  a wonderful day to honor thy mom and shower her with love, gratitude, gifts, and body lotion? It was last Sunday morning, when the twins woke 2 hours earlier than usual. After which, they ransacked our bathroom knocking several items off the vanity, including a jar of lotion which created the perfect slip and slide –  eventually sliding over for a surprise attack while I desperately feigned sleep in deep denial about rising this early, again, on a weekend (and Mother’s Day).

Like a scene from a comically contrived “family” movie, I didn’t’ think it was possible that kids really behave this badly; let alone my kids. I hated to be cranky, but things weren’t going as planned. Wasn’t this supposed to be my day?

I thought the conditions were primed perfectly to all but guarantee sleeping in at least until 7:45. With a Nor’easter expected to hit NY the bedrooms would be darker than usual. And, after reading Luca the riot act to stay in bed for mommy, I also equipped him with new reading material and his phone in the (still likely) event he rose early, next waking up the girls.

While my, supposed, full proof plan ended in failure, little did I know it never stood a chance. After a brief investigation (as a preventative future measure), I discovered that, only a day before, my husband purchased the wrong diapers which we could directly trace back to the ‘leaks’ responsible for waking both girls at the crack of dawn. As a little aside, do not buy Huggies Snug and Dry!

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Mother’s Day 2016

After receiving the kids’ beautiful homemade cards and a gift from my husband (helpful for dropping the diaper incident), coupled with the right dose of caffeine, my mood began to lighten. And, I was really looking forward to what’s becoming an annual Mother’s Day tradition – brunch at Bobby Vans in Bridgehampton- with my own Mom and Dad to celebrate. Miraculously, the kids were, fairly, well-behaved and, but for a sole plate of fries dropped from the table, our brunch was lovely.

Blue skies and a break of mid afternoon sunshine, along with being lucky enough to spend the day with my family and Mom – an incredible mother and role model –  ultimately made the day great, no matter the sleep deprivation. Isn’t that what being a mom is all about?

Lucky 13

comet 1With our wedding Anniversary passing this week, I have now been married almost as many years as my time attending 1st grade up to junior year in high school. Anyone unsure of the math, or wondering if I was held back, it’s been 13 years (and no, I wasn’t held back)! I couldn’t help but contemplate if, so-called, unlucky 13 will bring some ominous impact this year. 

Wondering what I could get my husband, I Googled the traditional “gift” for a 13th anniversary and, to my dismay, discovered it was lace something my husband hasn’t seen on me in quite a while. To my point, after just sparring one another about cleaning up, I started comparing the outlook as a 1st grader to that of a newlywed- so excited to learn as much as you can about the world and each other, enthusiastically embracing whatever is ahead for you.

Then, before you know it, just like the ole “dog ate my homework” excuse in middle school, the years pass and things begin to slip. Keeping that childhood vision can be a challenge. And, while I hate sounding cliché, taking time out together really can help reconnect you to what you saw in each other in the first place.

Our usual family dinners are hilarious, exhausting and quite educational; offering critical life skills like eating an entire roasted chicken with only your left hand and (sometimes) a fork; bouncing 1-2 toddlers on your knee while eating such chicken; juggling both while chugging a glass of Pinot with your free hand; and doing all 3 while bending down to pick up crayons, keys, phones, salt shakers other randoms thrown on the floor. While eventful, they tend to dampen intimate conversation.

To celebrate our 13th, we saw an amazing show, Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812– which, by chance, only a few days prior, happened to received 12 well deserved Tony Award Nominations.  Our friends also invited us to Nur, (check out Manhattan’s Hottest New Dining Spot :The 20s), just opened by a famous Israeli chef looking to make his mark in the States. This guy is a big star in Israel and, judging from our food, the full house, and meticulously run kitchen, will do exceptional here.  

Any chance to behold the next hot thing in New York is pretty awesome.  So far, the 13th is off to a lucky start. Hopefully no apocalyptic asteroids, collision comets, or double doomful, dirty diapers are headed our way. . .

Welcome Home!

AIMG_2343 picture can say 1000 words, but this one was shouting “turn around and don’t come back.” Unfortunately, after our twins’ behavior on the flight home, which continued during the hour-plus ride back to the city, in a car service, I was pretty sure we were added to a “no fly or travel at all list”, which meant that we had no choice but to find out what awaited us behind door number 1.

If only we could get it open. Turns out, while we were enjoying a lovely vacation (to which I am grateful),  our neighbor’s apartment sprang a leak, and the water managed to find its way to the “lowest ground’ ie, our apartment.

Landing at JFK from a long international flight at around 9:00 pm, followed by an eventful time at Customs, put us at home at roughly 11:30. Actually, I didn’t arrive to my front door until well past midnight after one of our extremely over-tired 2 year olds, Laurel, insisted on dragging an oversized suitcase, in her words “myself”, from outside on the street, to the building; then through a huge lobby, finally reaching  the elevator and the long hallway to our door.  I was too late to witness the panic (and exhaustion) in my husband’s eyes because he had just ripped out a few wood floor boards, with his bare hands, in order to open the door wide enough to get us inside. Of course, me not knowing what happened (only wondering why they abandoned me with Laurel and the suitcase), I wondered what kind of lunatic would do this when we just had the floors re-finished not long ago. . .

When I, finally, did start this blog, I had envisioned myself writing revealing, heartfelt, and humorous stories of motherhood, family, life in New York City –  you get the drift. Some of it easy, some, maybe, more revealing and personal. But, if this sort of “material” keeps surfacing every week, at this rate, I may never need to go there. So far, I am finding, the day-to-day is all I can manage.